Over the past two years, I had a lot of questions and only a few answers. I asked the Lord what He wanted to do with my life. He asked me to do something simple—wait. I know, what a concept. I watched all my friends move forward in their lives, and I struggled to come to terms with mine. Some started college, some started families, and others began the long, lonely road to a 9-5. Ultimately wasn’t a difficult road to start on. I settled into a job and pretended that I wasn’t frustrated about everybody else moving forward. I knew He had a plan, but I wasn’t happy.
I never understood why Jacob wrestled with God, and I can honestly say that I get it now. I let myself fall into a routine that I would quickly grow to despise. There was a nagging feeling that I wasn’t fulfilling my potential. My life had a purpose which I neglected in my frustration. God hadn’t given me the plan, so I struggled to trust that He had a reason. It wasn’t until I realized I was ignoring my calling that I remembered my relationship with God was a two-way street. He heard my frustration and questions AND had answers if I wanted to listen to them. It was a wild realization. I had things to do in anticipation of what He wanted of me, so I asked Him for peace, and He granted it.
Now I am stepping forward. I know the Lord will be present in this journey, and I have security in His grace. We all have our hardships and struggles, and I can proudly say that I don’t want to fight God right now. As we know, I would lose. I am incredibly excited about what He has in store for me, and I hope I can glorify Him in everything I do. It wasn’t until I reached my breaking point that I could hear His steady voice. In the most significant decisions I have made for my life this year, He has provided me with peace consistently.
